The NFL Shah: Part One
by Kinner Shah It’s that time of year again, arguably more exciting than the draft—it’s signing time. It’s a time-honored tradition. Who goes where, and for how much. Some teams make out well, while...
View ArticleR.I.P. Junior Seau
by Tommy Gimler 12-time Pro Bowl and 6-time First-Team All-Pro linebacker Junior Seau is dead at the age of 43 from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest. Seau was found by his...
View ArticleThe Opening Line
by Tommy Gimler A friend of mine is in Las Vegas, and he took some time away from tits yesterday to go to the Bellagio Sports Book. And there it was: my first look into the 2012 NFL betting season. I...
View ArticleRangers Announcer Goes Gibberish
by Tommy Gimler Why was the runner at fifth base in the bottom of the eighth inning last night? You guessed it. A botched robbery. Texas Rangers fans watching Monday night’s game against the San Diego...
View ArticlePlaying Mad Libs With Richie Incognito’s Voicemail Transcript
by Tommy Gimler How much does Riley Cooper love Richie Incognito right now? To say that Miami Dolphins offensive lineman Richie Incognito is a fucked up individual is a bigger understatement than...
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Jonathan Martin Was Fined $100 Numerous Times For Being A Big Pussy
by Frank Rhombus NFL investigator Ted Wells released an epic 144-page report on the Miami Dolphins yesterday detailing everything from Jonathan Martin’s pussy issues to Richie Incognito’s farts. The...
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The Dolphins’ Savior: A DUD Short Story
by Adam Pockross 60 seconds, motherfuckers. Just hang on for 60 fucking ticks. Christ, this is dick-sandwich time. Stop it. No bad thoughts. No bad juju, not now. Now is when the Fish need you most....
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